strange how words can't seem to have the capacity to describe adequately how and to what extent one is feeling. sophie wishes she could fly out of here. yesterday @ zouk, joey was crazy & he apparently blew a shitload of money on booze. it was so crowded, thanks ian for accompanying me, luckily i managed t get in. i saw so many hot stuffs last night and i had great cheese prata t cap it all off, despite a very dramatic session w a drunk joey unable t get home without waking up my cousin & aunt who now wanna report him t his mother & roast him for dinner etc etc. signed up for NUS FASS orientation camp w ger, jas, grace & tini today and we arranged on impulse to go overseas for 4 days and 3 nights, 1st week of july. and i'm gonna arrange it. i can't wait. it's getting claustrophobic and i want to bang my way out. japan and brazil are playing and i want them to win just so they can hold the asian flag high & stay in the world cup a while longer. i took a walk home tonight, amidst the dark & lights from the city sky, i smiled to myself and let out a little sigh. 'hey baby, what are you doing this time? see the girl who walked by your side, where is she tonight?' but 600 miles away and he'll never hear her say, 'hey baby, what are you doing this time?' so now jas knows - and i see this black hole that's opening up below me. how far would i go to be like you - i wish i knew for sure if i were a toy or something more because despite every inch of my sanity, goodwill & conscience, i'm no longer mine anymore.