the hourglass that wore its way,
the bell that could not play
quite simply then as it were,
everything was naught,
i was the poet who forgot.
sophie n./snxy`
220387.
the sun, the sand & the sea.
politikal analyst.
digs rock, raves, elektronik danze musik & fun reads.
struggling poet. some people drink themselves to oblivion, i choose to write.email
7/30/2006 02:41:00 pm, Sunday, July 30, 2006
and so the chapter ends just so you know a new one's entered the play just so you know i was waiting all this time just so you know it's too late for me to wait anymore.
i'll miss you.
7/29/2006 12:10:00 pm, Saturday, July 29, 2006
when all seems lost, you sink back into the circle of your loved ones and you know all's well again. when there's no one you can trust, you turn t them, those that stand beside you always.
there's ndp preview later! and a meet-up w 1/3 of my T02 class. long day long day. i tried a flaming lamborghini yesterday. and 2 tequila shots. and 1/8th of a bailey's green tea. and sheesha! i think i got damn high. but luckily i was back home and safe. well there's always a first time for everything. but i've no hangover! so i think i'm pro. haha.
ger wrote me a sms about 2 days ago. telling me i should be strong. i can't help it if i do get affected by it. i'm human after all. but thanks ren, i appreciate it 100%. after awhile i just forget all about it. what do they know anyway?
and on a nationalistic aside, i streaked my hair red.
7/27/2006 06:06:00 pm, Thursday, July 27, 2006
and you walked on by; leaving me with nothing, not even a glimpse of your light.
pathetic how one assumes.
7/26/2006 03:18:00 pm, Wednesday, July 26, 2006
im on a renewed x-japan high. yoshiki, hide (R.I.P.), pata, heath, toshi.. those were the days of real rock music. it's true - regardless of race, language or religion - music speaks to all who seek for it. it's undescribable when you just hear that first note of a song or melody, that first lyric, the voice that translates it into the words, those instruments that weave it into one, and you know that IS the one, the one song you've been wanting to hear for your whole life. music has always been very important to me - however sadly unfortunate i am to be cursed without the ability or the perserverance to go learn. so i turn my longing and my deprivation into appreciation and passion for those that can. but i doubt i'd ever be complete..
i remember those days i sat by the piano and tinkled the first notes of the usual kid's songs we learn in the first few grades. and how swiftly i gave in to my child-like impatience and left it to run in the sun. and how i sought to play in my later years, and realised - that it was too late.
7/25/2006 01:11:00 pm, Tuesday, July 25, 2006
7/23/2006 04:54:00 pm, Sunday, July 23, 2006
and before i was thrown off tangent w e purpose o political cos i was so pissed at seeing e tag - in fact im gonna just leave the tag there. go see it. opinionate. whatever. fyi, my response is below this post.
w regards of hezbollah (some networks spell it as hizbollah) in lebanon and israel's excessive and extreme bombing. another indication of jewish arrogance backed and supported by the sole american hegemony. it is ironic that condoleeza rice herself has said there cannot be a ceasefire when all over the world, people know that israel isn't just targeting the militant infrastructure, civilian life in beirut as they know it, has been heavily devastated.
1) iraq-american war 2003 : a hospital in baghdad was bombed despite the american forces knowing that there were patients and staff still inside just because the taleban army had stored weapons there. adapted excerpt from records between a US officer & an Iraqi doctor. US Officer: Do you not deny nor protest the storage of the weapons in the hospital knowing that by doing so, the hospital would be a target? Doctor: Do you honestly think anything I did would have made a difference? Officer: Why didn't the army leave then? Then the hospital wouldn't be a battleground. Doctor: Why didn't the US army detour around the hospital and fight somewhere else then? Officer: ... (speechless)
Iraqi Mother & US Officer: Officer: You lost your husband to Saddam Hussein's tyranny. We came to liberate you. Mother: And I lost my son to American bombs. What difference does that make?
the americans insist that there were weapons of mass destruction that have YET t be found. a PLANNED invasion of the US by the terrorists that has YET t be backed by solid evidence. apparently such assumptions are enough t bypass the UN charter's requirements, international law and opinion.
and we see it happening again.
a UN security council's resolution for an immediate ceasefire was vetoed ONLY by the US. 'nuff said.
in 2004 i went to the north thai-myanmar border. i lived w the shan refugees at the lao hu orphanage in the mountainside. i saw first-hand the children who'd lost family and homes in the myanmese civil war and bloodshed. there was no logical reason why they had to suffer. i see it again now. clearly, war blurs the line between reason and agenda. and the real victims are the civilians, the country and the future.
7/23/2006 04:45:00 pm,
1) mr/ms annoymous. get your facts straight. i do not throw myself t guys. when i club, i club w either my girls or my friends. and they do not let strangers dance w me. let me cite an example: a guy @ cocco was trying t dance w me, immediately ian pulled me away. my friends always defend me, and i likewise. 2) if i 'needed'guys so much, i'd probably be 'scandalising', actively dating or attached. FYI, ive been single. 2 years and counting. 3) girls are hotter. accuse me of throwing myself at them rather than THEM. 4) i told myself before i wouldnt stoop t levels of defending myself anymore. except this - when it's near an attack OR an attack on my character. 5) don't just assume. you make an ASS out of YOU and ME. know before you think, think before you speak. 6) last but not least. has it occurred t you that having guy friends doesn't mean one's throwing oneself at them. maybe they just do get along well, same interests, behaviourisms (i.e: checking out girls etc) considering i used to be an active? in fact, if you don't understand what that means, you know shit.
have some guts, confront me FACE TO FACE. don't just tag annoymously.
7/23/2006 10:19:00 am,
ive noticed spiders and cobwebs actually stringing out of my monitor screen. ahahaha. due t e immense amount of stuff that has been cropping out, i've hardly had time t come online, chat, check email and update my piece of the cyberworld.
prep camp came and went in a twinkling of an eye and ended in a blast. basically, it rocked. as expected. im glad im back w 1/3 of my original OG, ROTANA in my new OG, ROCKSTAR. haha. so poseur right? but whatever lar, it's just fun.
grr, mum's making me go off t go t church. shall continue this later. =] til then, xx, S.
7/16/2006 10:06:00 pm, Sunday, July 16, 2006
i've got arts orientation week prep camp tomorrow til tuesday. not t mention a full-scale medical checkup which i'm quite nervous about! lol. heard it includes like urine tests and chest x-rays? or maybe that's just nonsense. i'm so tired. my bodyclock's still tuned t the big apple & i'm tiring myself out trying t sleep according t singapore time - and obviously failing - since you cant exactly force yourself t sleep when your mind's WIDEAWAKE. anyway i just had a look at my organiser - and i'm BUSY like almost everyday. which is damn weird since i've stopped working. lol. but anyway, i have made it a point that on days in between filled ones, like say BUSYfreeBUSY or freeBUSYBUSY or BUSYBUSYfree, i'm gonna stay at home and reject all would-be/requested appointments on those days.
two more days t mambo! =]
7/14/2006 02:02:00 pm, Friday, July 14, 2006
i am so craving sushi right now. jas woke up late so no sushi lunch? +( but there'd be prata later! so its alright! *beams. salmon salmon salmon. *drools.
Fate deals you cards you least expect. strange, when you thought there couldn't be, there's something. such mis-timing. and one is into the 8th world wonder. but that's why it is so - unattainable & unrealistic. the weight of disapproval hangs over it. and yet - another colour comes into the picture. such complications.
it's best t be single - two years and counting! such emotional issues only tire & drain a person. my girlfriends & family are enough for me - ok, and one best guy pal (guano, see i havent forgotten you! <3) i'm kinda nervous/excited about sch. (yay zaph, hope we be same group for french!) what w e bidding system all, i'm hopeless as ger knows. *sigh. SOS please anyone.
wednesday, wednesday, wednesday, rotana will bring zouk down =] can't wait!
7/13/2006 10:50:00 pm, Thursday, July 13, 2006
i just got back from the big apple this morning at 5.30am (5.30pm NY) and i immediately konked out til 8pm! it's 10.47pm (local time) but it's near afternoon in new york and i'm WIDE AWAKE. i should go clubbing eh? hahaha.
anyway - pictures for ARTS CAMP ARE here. and pictures for NEWYORK are HERE. check them out alright, i'm too lazy t rotate them so rotate them yourselves! =]
the big apple was a blast, a welcome relief from the dreary hot days back home. it's like 27 farenheit over there which is i dunno what in degrees celsius. but whatever it is, it's hot but cool w slight breezes! which rocks obviously.
we touched down at newark liberty in the evening so by the time we got up t our apartment at lincoln centre (which is like neighbour t JULLIARD SCHOOL & LaGuardia High School of Arts and Performing Arts & Broadway & Fordham University) downtown manhattan, we were shagged and hungry for dinner. so we got out went t times square t see the 4th o july fireworks and have dinner. then we got back t sleep. basically new yorkers have this attitude about them, this 'if you aint got it, you can go f*&k yourself cos i dun care even if a hair on your body drops off cos it aint worth my shit t even bother'. haha ok quite drama but u get the idea! we weren't really used t it at first, but after awhile, whatever right? but i must say, they're really friendly. they have this 'hello how are you/how was your day' greeting at the delis, the shops (nice ones) and it's quite overwhelming. like hog's breath x 100. but generally they're nice. like in the duration o our stay, over 3 ppl came up t us voluntarily t offer us help w directions. my dad has this fetish for standing in e middle of crowded places and taking out his map while the rest of us gather around uselessly trying t stay out o ppl's way. haha. he claims its HIS holiday so everyone else who has a problem can go and -eff themselves. obviously he didn't say that but it was along those lines. and i must say, i know why most americans are OBESE. the portions are AMAZING. my uber-huge appetite brother couldnt even finish his own dinner at times. but it's good man, worth the money. i culd just go on and on w e food man. rocks. but somehow feel singapore has more variety and quality! hahaha. plus i must say, EYECANDY GALORE. like *blingblingbling- handsome ppl (esp e ABERCROMBIE & FITCH sales people!!) they have like 2 guys at e entrance, like ushers and they're SO GOOD-LOOKING tt ppl actually ask t take pictures w them! *DROOLS. oh and one more thing - the girls are HOT and CURVY aka most of them do NOT have slim tums and thin bods etc. - so THERE. u dunneed freaking slim and toned bodies alright, eat whatever, be HAPPY. u look good cos u FEEL GOOD!! on a sombre note - went t st paul's chapel - site of WTC workers' place. man, u can feel the sorrow. the mementos and the photo galleries o what went on. the firemen's boots placed on the fences, those that were unclaimed meant that their owners died. =( sigh. tragedy of humanity.. ive got so much t say. so many memories. oh i got asked t model IN NEW YORK. LOL. like great thing t brag about lar please. so excuse my ego for this sec. but whatever, cos i saw so many hotstuffs that i felt relieved i didn't say yes. and i find it so amazing tt u can hear several different languages everywhere u go! i wanna stay in NY in e future. tokyo, london, bangkok and new york. =] love holidays.
and it seemed like even there, i saw your name everywhere.
7/04/2006 06:39:00 am, Tuesday, July 04, 2006
the big apple is a-calling, and i'm a-leaving. i CAN'T WAIT YOU GUYS! and good news ....
I'VE BEEN ACCEPTED INTO THE LANGUAGE ELECTIVE PROGRAMME @ NUS WHERE I'LL BE GOING OVERSEAS T IMMERSE MYSELF IN E FRENCH CULTURE & LANGUAGE - so 3rd year, i'll be ADIOS AMIGOS again! =DD
gosh, im so excited i woke up @ 5.30am today instead o 6am! growls. and i went t GEYLANG, walked like all e lorongs from 1 - 100, saw all e 'sights' and lemme tell u.. my goodness - it rocked. those china chicks are just utterly scandaLOTS please. and those ah peks, even worse. there was this hooker chick w her drunk client & they blatantly cut e POSB atm queue t withdraw her SALARY! tmd. i shld go phone discovery channel and film a documentary please. and i'm freaking coughing and blowing my head off - i hope e US customs won't stop me on suspicion o bird flu or SARS or worse! =]
xx, S.
til im back and be home again~ oh baby, won't you please say you'll wait for me~
7/03/2006 10:10:00 am, Monday, July 03, 2006
david beckham is under-appreciated. look at how crucial he is in the midfield. yes, aaron lennon is good, but he is inexperienced. look how he set up so many shots on targets & goals & let's not forget his free-kicks and corners. i think he deserves more than a round of applause for his contributions now that he has chosen to retire. truly, he does rank up there amongst one of England's greatest captains. it's a pity how the media just loves to use him and his family as a punching-bag. cheap thrills probably, just t have something t write about and that'd sell issues. if i were him when those were going on, i'd probably hire thugs to burn down the press offices or something.
and i'm leaving tomorrow at 4pm. direct flight, 18 hours on SIA t NEWYORK. it's exciting and nerving. 1) i havent tested my endurance on such a long flight ever since canada of 1996. and i remember i puked my guts out the entire journey. yes, folks, i'm air-sick. or USED to be. since i havent done so since 2002. but those were shorter flights. so keep your fingers crossed aye. and i hope new york shows the world cup man.. i noe the americans aint too enthu about things that aren't spelt or played their way but whatever! i bought 3 tops t wear there so i wouldn't look out-dated. it's the hip capital o the world what! and it sucks im 19 and the legal age for drinking is 21. growls.
and so on my eve of departure, i'm hanging out w my orientation group in town later - ROTANA ROCKS! i'm really happy t have met them and formed such bonds. i hope it continues on throughout university. not t mention, a few others..
and i wouldnt noe if i mattered more or less to you. maybe this is what my paper heart is telling me. some people just aren't meant to be. and maybe i'll find myself another paper heart to bleed.
7/03/2006 10:00:00 am,
strange how someone can throw away 2 years of friendship JUSTLIKETHAT. over a materialistic object - betrayal o trust, you say? how about the other party? how much it must have hurt to become the target of your accusations.. 'hard evidence' points her way, well - i mayn't have been there, but i'm sure your 'hard evidence' can be argued for any other person, not just her. just because you need someone t vent your hurt, your loss and your anger on, don't just look for the nearest convenient target. HELLO. there is a steady friendship at stake here! (wait does it even exist anymore?) by the time you wake up from your anger-fuelled tantrum, you may realise that you didn't mean anything you said and it'd be too late.. this is a person you chose t hang out w, someone you worked w, someone you played volleyball w.. i find it funny and painful that you've decided it didnt matter anymore.
perhaps, it's true what they say, money is the most important thing in this fucked up world.