the hourglass that wore its way,
the bell that could not play
quite simply then as it were,
everything was naught,
i was the poet who forgot.
sophie n./snxy`
220387.
the sun, the sand & the sea.
politikal analyst.
digs rock, raves, elektronik danze musik & fun reads.
struggling poet. some people drink themselves to oblivion, i choose to write.email
3/31/2008 05:40:00 pm, Monday, March 31, 2008
the second hand ticks by agonisingly tock pen to paper, even the ink's clogged.
tick silence hangs heavy in the air emptiness overwhelms, and then
tock
nothing flows like before. the wait is frustrating, a grey slate taunts
tick veiled appearances
is something there? the mind struggles for something.
i once watched this show where a doctor (doctorate holder) was talking to another doctor (a medical professional). the medical doctor asked the other what specialisation she was doing, and she was like 'i'm not that kind of doctor.' and he replied, 'oh, the book type.'
i sure as hell didn't consider academia as a career path, but i see that as an increasing possibility with each semester spent here in melbourne. perhaps it's because i really do enjoy what i'm studying. once you're doing something you love, it doesn't feel like work. and i find myself motivated to aim higher.
a friend asked if i'm pursuing this route in order to run away from something. i don't know what i am supposed to be running from, but i do admit that there's something i need to find out. however, there's a common assumption that academia is for people who run away from reality, choosing instead to constantly stay in an institution and improve one's theoretical knowledge, and for what use? to make better informed decisions? to have a list of titles next to one's name? to teach?
i don't actually intend to teach. maybe while i pursue subsequent degrees (if i do end up doing more), but not as a career. perhaps i just want the degrees in order to feel a sense of justification, that i'm not average, that i'm not stupid. i don't really know. but i do love staying at home, in front of my laptop and reading.
we'll see. :)
3/19/2008 08:22:00 pm, Wednesday, March 19, 2008
one word.
lonely.
that's all there is to it.
3/15/2008 08:04:00 pm, Saturday, March 15, 2008
nothing good about goodbye. 2007 all over again.
i don't know where to start.
you put me in a blind, a whole new metaphor. i put my trust in, in you.
i believed, when the world was against me. i believed. and i shouldn't have.
where's the person i knew? where's the you, you left behind.
and with a shudder, my world collapsed, and left behind your lie.